“It was a mistake” you said. But, the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine for trusting you. David Levithan
Have you ever become friends with a friend of a friend? Sure you have. We’ve all met friends through other friends and typically, we don’t vet them because if they cool with our friends, then they are cool with us. But, are they?
I saw this on TV and thought it would be a great topic for a “what if” scenario. Here’s the scenario:
Your friend of 20 years, Nia, introduces you to her childhood friend, Alexis. Nia and Alexis went to elementary, jr. High, and high school together and maintained close contact over the years. So when Alexis moved back to California, Nia eagerly introduced her besties. You believed that any friend of Nia’s was cool with you. After all, Nia was trustworthy, She was there when you met your husband and was the Godmother of your 2nd child. You and she had been through thick and thin. and survived it all. So welcoming Alexis into the friendSHIP fold was easy to do.
Over the years, Alexis, like Nia became family. She knew your husband, your children, your family and was invited to and participated in all of the family gatherings, events, and activities. She had also become a confidant. So when your marriage of 7 years ended, you shared with her and Nia your heartbreak and personal struggles. Your besties were there for you. You cried together and they gave you their shoulders to cry on. Throughout it all, they were there offering their support and assistance.
Shortly after the divorce, while out running errands for work, you look across the street and see Alexis hugged up with your ex-husband. Unwilling to make a scene, you immediately call Nia to let her know what just happened. As you explained the discovery, Nia listened but didn’t say too much which was odd. As you ranted about Alexis’ betrayal, Nia remained silent. Why didn’t she share your anger, your disgust? Had she known all along? Nooooo, this is your child’s Godmother, your best friend, you were convinced that she wouldn’t keep something like this from you.
After further conversations, Nia tearfully admitted that she had known that Alexis had started seeing your ex but felt it wasn’t her place to say anything. She felt it was Alexis’ place to tell you who she was dating. You still haven’t spoken to Alexis but know that she and Nia are still friends. Can Nia remain friends with both? What would you do? What would you say? Does Nia friendSHIP with Alexis mean that she picked a side? Are Nia and Alexis FRIENDS or FOES?
Let’s talk SHIP: Can your friendSHIP survive in this scenario? Would you be friends with Nia? Would you have a conversation with Alexis? your ex?
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