“We have to recognize that there cannot be relationSHIPS unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” Cornel West

Most of us single folk would love to have a companion to share and do things with. Someone to go out to dinner,  a movie, and to travel with. Someone to laugh with. Someone to support and encourage us during difficult and successful times. Someone to hold hands, kiss, and cuddle with.  Whew, at least I know I would!!  Even though many of us may express those same thoughts and desires, all of us are NOT RelationSHIP READY. Why? Because being single doesn’t promote the “teamwork” mentality required in relationSHIPS?  Being single robs us of the opportunity to practice sharing, trusting, or compromising. Do you have that “teamwork” mentality? Do you know how to play your position in a relationSHIP?  Are you RelationSHIP READYI know I AM!!  So for this week’s blog, let’s talk SHIP and see if we’re RelationSHIP READY!!!             

Just because we claim to be RelationSHIP READY doesn’t mean it’s true.  Last week that became evident while watching one of my favorite relationSHIP shows, Married At First Sight (MAFS). MAFS is a reality show where singles fed up with the dating scene allow experts to find their match who they then meet at the altar on their wedding day.  In essence, they marry a stranger.  One would think after going through such an arduous process, taking tests, background checks, and interviews with psychologists and psychiatrists, they’d be RelationSHIP READY, but that’s not true, at least not for one couple.  During their first dance at their reception, a groom revealed to his new bride that he was celibate and she immediately yelled that information to all of their guests.  I was floored.  Her inability to hold his confidence was indicative that she wasn’t RelationSHIP READY.   

While watching the Afterparty, the talk show that follows the episodes of MAFS, the bride continued to prove that she was immature and in fact, wasn’t RelationSHIP READY.  Without asking why he chose to be celibate, she immediately became judgemental.  She never asked or considered the fact that he was being considerate of other women and wanted to connect with them on a deeper level than sex.  Instead, she wondered how it would affect her and when and if they’d have sex. Further proving that she was not RelationSHIP READY.   Much like this bride, our minds may be telling us that we are RelationSHIP READY, but are we really? 

Considering the high rate of divorce and break-ups among couples, many of us may NOT even know how to create healthy, loving relationSHIPS.  But these relationSHIPS do exist and are possible.  The foundation for a healthy relationSHIP becomes sturdy when it’s built on –respect, trust, and communication.  Good relationSHIPS don’t happen overnight, they take time.  They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness, and most of all, an effort.    Indeed, relationSHIPS require a lot of work and in order for them to be successful, it’s imperative that we be RelationSHIP READY!!!   This bride wasn’t ready because she was not in relationSHIP with herself.   See it’s virtually impossible for us to be RelationSHIP READY with someone when we are not in relationSHIP with ourselves. 

When we are RelationSHIP READY, we consider how our words and actions affect others.  When we are RelationSHIP READY, we respect and accept our partner’s differences. When we are RelationSHIP READY, we encourage and welcome deep, honest, and open communications with our partners.  When we are RelationSHIP READY, we hold our partner’s admissions and confessions close to our hearts.   When we are RelationSHIP READY, we are willing to be patient and make adjustments.  When we are RelationSHIP READY, we are willing to play our position and understand when it’s time for us to fall back and when we need to step up and be strong.  When we are RelationSHIP READY, we acknowledge that we are part of a team and will make every effort to ensure that it’s a winning team.  So don’t waste your time and anyone else’s if you are NOT RelationSHIP READY!!!!

SHIP TALK: Are you RelationSHIP READY

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