“Your VALUE doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” Zig Ziglar

Over the weekend, a few girlfriends and I gathered for a night of food, fun, and frolic in celebration of my sister’s birthday.  We laughed and talked about an array of topics and eventually landed on relationSHIPS.  A few of the ladies were in relationSHIPS, one married but separated, one divorced and dating, and the rest of us were single.  As we continued conversing, we shared our thoughts on the joys and difficulties of relationSHIPS and although I am NOT a relationSHIP expert, I am an expert on my opinions of them, LOL.  And to me, the very foundation of relationSHIPS is grounded in the premise, “Know Thyself.  So, reluctantly, I shared my belief that women were the real culprits in the success or demise of relationSHIPS simply because we get into them without fully understanding our SELF-WORTH and VALUE and surprisingly, they agreed.   Do you agree?  Or do you disagree? I agree, because relationSHIPS require us to have an awareness of our SELF-WORTH and VALUE. So, for this week’s blog, let’s talk SHIP about the importance of knowing our SELF-WORTH and VALUE!!

According to Webster’s dictionary, VALUE is defined as: regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. We may VALUE many things in our lives, but nothing more VALUABLE than ourselves. When we VALUE ourselves it’s a demonstration that we believe that we are worthy of respect, love, and well-being.  When we VALUE ourselves, we cultivate self-respect and set up healthy boundaries for ourselves and for those we allow to enter our lives. Having a strong sense of VALUE gives us the ability to discern with certainty and confidence what we “will” and “will not” tolerate in our relationSHIPS. I love, love, so relationSHIPS intrigue me. I root for them to work but also believe in knowing when to fold them. That’s why I’m a big fan of relationSHIP shows like- Black Love, Put A Ring on It, and All The Single Ladies. I primarily watch them for entertainment, and although they range in content- from encouraging love to escaping it– the shows really do offer some introspective moments. What baffles me most is when some of the women share that they did NOT know their SELF-WORTH and VALUE before being in a relationSHIP.   They explain that their bad and abusive relationSHIPS helped them discover their SELF-WORTH and VALUE. Huh? Why jump into a relationSHIP without fully knowing your SELF-WORTH and VALUE? We shouldn’t have to be abused, cheated on, or disrespected by someone in a relationSHIP to understand our SELF-WORTH and VALUE. We should already know that before entering a relationSHIP because our VALUES enable us to create boundaries and define what we will and will not allow in our lives.

RelationSHIPS represent the beginning or start of something that we want to be long-term.  But sometimes the excitement and promise of new beginnings relaxes our senses and we may overlook some red flags.  And when we allow this to happen, we diminish our VALUE.  We may hear what’s being said but refuse to hear what’s not being said. And when we do this, we diminish our VALUE.   When we focus on having a financial need met, instead of having a loving relationSHIP, we diminish our VALUE.   When we accept anything less than what we deserve, we diminish our VALUE.   Sure, we’ve all been in relationSHIPS where we’ve learned something about ourselves.  Some of them made us take a hard look at ourselves while others may have even made us question how we could have chosen that person as a partner.  No longer being in those stagnant and possibly abusive relationSHIPS means that we understand our SELF-WORTH and know our VALUE!! We know how we want to be treated, and how we want to be made to feel and are willing to accept nothing less.

In my opinion, relationSHIPS can’t exist without a willing woman and that its success or demise, is contingent upon whether or not she fully understands her SELF-WORTH and her VALUE.  Because entering relationSHIPS without knowing our SELF-WORTH and VALUE can create consequences and repercussions that will last a lifetime. Always remember that you were created for greatness and shouldn’t accept or expect anything less. Know your WORTH and when choosing a partner, choose YOU first. Be true to who you are and what you want in a relationSHIP. Don’t choose a partner based on thirstiness and loneliness, or based on having a financial need met, choose one that will add VALUE to your life AND one who recognizes and appreciates your SELF-WORTH and your VALUE!!!

SHIP TALK: Do you think women jump into relationSHIPS without knowing their SELF-WORTH and VALUE?

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