“Fatherhood requires love, not DNA.” Unknown

This weekend I had a few pleasant encounters that made me feel special. Friday morning, a friend from college called and left a very loving message on my voicemail. It put a smile on my face. Later that day, I received a text from another college friend who was in our college town and wanted to see if I wanted an alumni shirt. I felt sooo special. As I reflected on these kind gestures, I labeled them as EXAMPLES OF LOVE. It’s a good feeling to be thought of by others! It’s also a good feeling when you let others know they are special, loved, and appreciated by you. We’ve all experienced some EXAMPLES OF LOVE. We’ve received them or given them-and either way, they make us feel special and loved. They can be big or small but regardless of the size, they are geninue acts of love. But, imagine the EXAMPLES OF LOVE required to be a bonus parent. EXAMPLES OF LOVE don’t get any more selfless than that. This weekend, I witnessed as my friend (who I consider family) demonstrated the ultimate EXAMPLE OF LOVE when he buried his bonus son. So for this week’s blog, let’s talk SHIP about his selfless EXAMPLES OF LOVE!!!

An EXAMPLE OF LOVE usually comes in the form of an action. It can range from greeting a friend with a hug, sending someone flowers, apologizing when wrong, to loving someone enough to assume the responsibility of being a bonus parent to their child. RelationSHIPS with bonus dads can be tricky but sometimes the child ends up with a father who chose them and loves them more than their biological dad ever could. That’s what happened to my BFF’s brother, Tony. Although he wasn’t his biological father, he loved Droi and had been in his life since he was 4 months old and at 39 was now burying him. Tony married Droi’s mom when he was 2 and they eventually had 3 more sons. Their marriage ended when Droi turned 13 and ALL 4 sons lived with their father, with little involvement or contribution from their mom. The sacrifices Tony made for his sons as a single parent were obvious but he never complained. He paid the fees for sports leagues, graduation expenses, field trips, medical expenses,and growing grocery bills. Even when he was fighting cancer, his 4 sons were his main priority. Tony showed his sons how to be men through his unwavering faith in GOD and his EXAMPLES OF LOVE.

Yet, as we gathered to lay his son to rest, Droi’s mom intentionally chose to exclude and ignore the many EXAMPLES OF LOVE that Tony poured into their son.  She didn’t allow his input in the services or the program but willingly accepted his financial assistance. His name was mentioned once in Droi’s obituary but no honor or praise was given for the sacrifice and the EXAMPLES OF LOVE that he’d made in and throughout Droi’s life. His biological dad never made the effort to get to know his seed, but Tony assumed the role without hesitation and watered and nurtured his seed until it blossomed. So, why would she intentionally deny the invaluable contributions and the EXAMPLES OF LOVE that Tony lovingly made in the life of her son? We were crushed that Tony’s EXAMPLES OF LOVE hadn’t been shared in the obituary and could see the hurt in his face. Yet, we ALL, including her, knew how he provided, protected, prayed, and loved Droi as if he were his own. Indeed, Droi had a bonus father who loved, raised, and took care of him.

Despite being overlooked for the contributions that he made in Droi’s life, Tony deserves to be honored and acknowledged for the EXAMPLES OF LOVE that he has not only shared with his sons, family and friends, but as an ordained minister, those EXAMPLES OF LOVE he has shares with others. He is an anointed man of GOD who will drive miles to pray for and with others, who has healed afflictions, and lead many to Christ. He is the reason that there was standing room only at the service. He is the reason why childhood friends flew from various parts of the country to support him. Him driving to the hospital to pray for my dad several times are just a few EXAMPLES OF HIS LOVE. Tony, my friend, as I told you that day, continue to hold on to GOD’S hand and if you have too, squeeze it. Droi knew you and loved you as his dad, and nothing can discount or minimize that. GOD knows and is pleased with the EXAMPLES OF LOVE that you so freely gave to Droi and that you continue to give us. Now the true story has been told!! #RIPANDROIWHEELERBUTREALLYABROWN

SHIP TALK: Do you have an EXAMPLE OF LOVE that you like to share?

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8 Replies to “EXAMPLES OF LOVE”

  1. Carolyn, Thanks so much. He is a wonderful guy whom I respect dearly. Your Example of love is beautifully noted.

  2. Val your writing this about your friend Tony is also an EXAMPLE OF LOVE. Beautifully written. 😇

  3. What a beautiful blog Val. Acts of loves have so much debt too it. It’s something you can’t buy. My act of love I’ve connected with a senior who’s spouse has health issues. She needed someone to talk with and give her worried mind a fun break. I’m felt bless because she was so happy.

  4. He is truly an EXAMPLE OF LOVE. Thanks so much for reading the post. Please subscribe, I’d love your support.

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