“I try not to let OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS, problem me. J. Richard Singleton

You DOWN WITH O.P.P. (Yeah you know me). You DOWN WITH O.P.P. (Yeah you know me). You DOWN WITH O.P.P. was a headbanging jam released in 1991, by the Grammy-winning rap group Naughty By Nature.  In their song, O.P.P refers to OTHER PEOPLE’S PROPERTY and its lyrics are about being unfaithful to your partner.  For the purpose of this post, O.P.P. will refer to OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS. Because some of us have a tendency to jump into relationSHIPS too soon and inevitably inherit OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS, problems that we otherwise wouldn’t have or have to deal with. The truth is, we ALL have problems but oftentimes, O. P. P. can be much more complicated than our own. Can relationSHIPS withstand O.P.P. coupled with our own? Yes, I believe they can but it depends on the depth of their problems. Are there any OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS that you are unwilling to deal with? What are they? OR Are you DOWN WITH O.P.P.?  For this week’s blog, let’s talk SHIP about being DOWN WITH O.P.P.!!!   

RelationSHIPS themselves can be problematic but when we enter into them with individuals who have unresolved issues or problems, they become even more complicated and problematic.   Especially since the majority of the problems we face in our relationSHIPS are caused by people-either us or them.  Getting involved with someone that has unresolved problems can be stressful because in this type of relationSHIP the focus is always on their problems-not ours.  These DOWN WITH O.P.P -filled relationSHIPS are not harmonious and often cause even more problems. These relationSHIPS are more emotionally turbulent than fulfillment. So knowing this, why would anyone be DOWN WITH O.P.P.?

A few weeks ago a friend and I hooked up for lunch and she shared with me that one of our mutual friends had recently got married to a guy she’d known for years.  Our mutual friend has a good-paying job at a Fortune 500 company where she’s worked for 20 plus years, so I was so excited for her.  Until I found out that she’d married a guy that spent 15 years in prison and still has an active drug addiction.  He doesn’t work. He doesn’t have a car and is unable to contribute anything to the household.  I couldn’t fathom why she would date, let alone, marry a guy with so many unresolved problems. Why would such a strong independent woman be attracted to a man who is unable to bring anything to the table, except for unresolved problems?  Her actions and choices are evidence that she was definitely DOWN WITH O.P.P., but why? 

I think it’s a diversion. Because when we are focused on helping our mates with their problems, it takes our mind off of our own issues and problems.  Without expertise, we assume professional counseling roles- drug counselor, employment counselor, financial counselor, probation officer, mental health counselor, etc– because we’ve convinced ourselves that we have the ability to love them through their problems. We believe that with our encouragement, we can motivate them to do what they failed to do on their own. Yet, we fail to realize or acknowledge that helping them fix their problems, results in us neglecting our own. Why? Is it because we are just happy being in a relationSHIP and having someone to cuddle with?   But is that enough? It can’t be!!! These DOWN WITH O.P.P. relationSHIPS are mentally, emotionally, and financially draining and when they end, we find ourselves having more problems than we had before we met them.

I get it!! I am single too. I understand the desire to be in a relationSHIP with someone special but I am NOT DOWN WITH O.P.P. and neither should you. Spend time addressing and fixing your own unresolved issues and problems. Stop being DOWN WITH O.P.P. and put yourself first. Focus your energies on yourself. Take care of yourself- mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Love yourself more. Because when you do, you’ll discover that you’re a real MVP deserving much more than being DOWN WITH O.P.P. !!!

SHIP TALK:  Are you DOWN WITH O.P.P.?  Why?

At www.whatstheship.com, we appreciate your support in reading our weekly blog posts.  If you enjoy what you’ve read, please feel free to share it with your family and friends. Lastly, we’d love to hear your feedback on what you’ve read or ways we can improve and grow our readerSHIP.  So if you’d like to leave a comment, please scroll to the bottom of the page.  Just remember, I am sensitive about my SHIP!! 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.