“In some cases, some way, and sometimes you can tolerate or even if needed be considerate, but do not ever compromise moreover lower your standards.”  Glad Munaiseche

Court TV shows are fascinating to me, not only for the drama and entertainment but for the various type of cases they air- car accidents, towing, families, relationSHIPS, dog bites, DNA results, murder, and disputes over monies-I watch them all. Although, the cases may differ from court show to court show, they ALL have one thing in common, they are a result of a breakdown in some sort of relationSHIP where one person feels slighted by the other.  Recently, a woman brought her boyfriend to Divorce Court because she felt like he didn’t CONSIDER her.  Initially, when she said she didn’t feel CONSIDERED, I was intrigued by the phrase because I’d never heard neglect described that way.  As she continued to describe their relationSHIP, I couldn’t help but ponder the thought BEING CONSIDERED.  Is CONSIDERATION important?  Have you ever felt like you weren’t BEING CONSIDERED in a relationSHIP?  I know I HAVE!!!  So, for this week’s blog, let’s talk SHIP about BEING CONSIDERED!!!

According to Webster’s dictionary, CONSIDER means: to accept, think carefully about (something), typically before making a decision; to regard (someone or something) as having a specified quality.  CONSIDERATION in relationSHIPS, regardless of the type –romantic, business, or friend- is very important because if we want build empathy and trust within the relationSHIP, we must take into account the needs and feelings of others.  BEING CONSIDERED gives us a sense of inclusion which allows us to trust and respect our partners.   As I continued to watch the show, it became apparent that this couple was a hot mess from the start of their relationSHIP.  She described that they’d met while he was involved with another woman, the multitude of times he’s cheated on her, his drug addiction, his inability to contribute financially to their relationSHIP, his interaction with the mother of his child, who was also the woman he was involved with when they met, him trying to convince her to consider a polyamorous relationSHIP with him and her, and her decision to have a child by him, explained why she felt she wasn’t BEING CONSIDERED.   But I questioned if she CONSIDERED herself.  

Oftentimes, we want others to CONSIDER us, but do we CONSIDER ourselves? The way they met, the deceit and disrespect throughout their relationSHIP, would have caused me to run off immediately. I would have CONSIDERED myself first. She stuck it out and in court voiced the corrective actions she needed to make their relationSHIP work and it paid off for her. During the case, with Judge Star’s encouragement, the man admitted that throughout their relationSHIP, he’d been selfish and hadn’t CONSIDERED her feelings. He confessed his love for her and made a pledge that he would do better and CONSIDER his family first and for his children’s sake, I hope he does and that they work it out. Because in truth, ALL relationSHIPS are a give and take.  We give our time, thoughts, consideration, support, care and love to others—expecting the same in return. But since everyone is different, that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes, what we’re willing to give and accept doesn’t always align with what we are actually receiving. 

Some people spend years in relationSHIPS where they feel as if they are NOT BEING CONSIDERED. when they don’t have to.  All we need to do is CONSIDER ourselves first.  Because when we CONSIDER ourselves, we understand the value that we bring to our relationSHIPS.  When we CONSIDER ourselves, we’ll think carefully about who we choose as a partner and who we allow in our lives. When we CONSIDER ourselves, we accept the truth that we are the only one who can control our lives and our happiness. Because BEING CONSIDERED is not the responsibility of others, it’s our responsibility.   So, ALWAYS CONSIDER YOURSELF!!!


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4 Replies to “BEING CONSIDERED!!!”

  1. Angie, you speaking the truth. I’d never thought about Being Considered but realized its essential if we are going to be WHO GOD created us to be. I’ve learned that I matter and considering myself, like you is my main priority. I’m glad you are back. I missed your insightfulness.

  2. Hey Val, Great read! Considering one’s self is SO, SO important. It took me a minute to learn this; however, now that I know what I know…. I KNOW that I must consider myself first. Growing up in a family where it was ingrained ‘family first’, I took that to heart, literally. As I entered into adulthood, then add on marriage and kids, I applied the same ‘rule’ always putting my family first. It is perhaps within the last five years or so that I chose ME! My consideration now is ME first! I realized I couldn’t be my best ME if I didn’t consider myself first. I must admit it was tough at first, but I got the hang of it now and it was the BEST consideration I’ve made in all my life!

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