“Say NOT in grief, he is NO more but in THANKFULNESS that he WAS” Hebrew Proverb

It’s Father’s Day 2020 and this is the second time since I was born that I haven’t spent the day with my daddy. The first time was 25 years ago when I went to the Playboy Jazz Festival. Although I enjoyed the concert, I felt guilty about being there. It was Father’s Day and I should have been spending the day with my father. Instead, I was at Hollywood Bowl listening to some great Jazz while Bill Cosby talked about the importance of fathers. It was then and there that I vowed that I would never spend another Father’s Day apart from my daddy. I made the commitment that for as long as GOD blessed me to have my father here on earth, I would spend every Father’s Day with him and was blessed to do so, until this year. This Father’s Day was beyond my control because GOD called my father home on February 7th, 2020. So this is my first Father’s Day without his physical presence and man do I miss him.

I’ve never lost anyone that had such a prevalent role in my life so I wasn’t sure if our father/daughter relationSHIP would end when he passed but realized it hasn’t. My father continues to LIVE in my mind, my heart, and my soul. There is NOT a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and miss him. I miss his phone calls and his words of encouragement. I miss his advice. I miss his hugs. I miss his touch. I miss those looks he used to shoot me when I was being silly and he wasn’t in the mood. I miss his smile, his laughter, and hearing his voice. I miss his faith and him telling me to trust GOD. I miss his prayers. I miss his assurances. His reassurances. I miss him and my mother’s funny interactions and gestures of affection. I miss hearing him say whenever I’d leave, “to take the LORD with you.” I miss EVERYTHING about my daddy. Even though I miss my father, I fondly recall our many conversations.

Truth is my father through our many conversations was giving me tools. After he passed, I realized that he had left me with a toolbox filled with handy tools that I would need to fix every circumstance or situation that I’d ever encounter. So, when I need his advice, I open up my toolbox to access the wealth of knowledge that he has shared with me throughout the years. When I need love, I open up the toolbox. When I need patience, I open up the toolbox. When I need joy, I open up the toolbox. When I miss him, I can open up the toolbox and be reminded of how much he loved me. When I am lost, I can open up the toolbox and find the peace and LOVE of GOD.

Daddy, the love I have for you has not diminished or dwindled, it has intensified. I have my moments and still shed tears but when I do, I open up my toolbox and immediately feel your comfort. Daddy, although we are apart on this Father’s Day, we are together in our hearts. I love you and miss you Deacon Daddy and thanks for filling up my toolbox!!!

SHIP TALK: What’s your fondest memory of your father?

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